New Year’s Resolutions for Bakers
Are you ready to put your most hypnotic foot forward in 2025? Check out these 10 HC themed resolutions that are sure to enhance your life! (results may vary)Learn the Accordion
What better way to start the New Year right than by developing a new skill? It may be time that you are exposed to the majesty of the dynamic, powerful and beautiful accordion. Mastering this instrument is a big undertaking, but just think about the joy you'll feel when you're able to play along with many Hypnotic Clambake songs! (P.S. - be sure to bring your new accordion to one of our shows so you can jam with us!)
Memorize the Lyrics of Every Hypnotic Clambake Song
Has this ever happened to you? You're trying to cross a bridge and a troll asks you to name the value of the head of The Man With The Face On The Side. If this hasn't happened to you - consider yourself lucky. It is a very common occurance - and one that you can ace by simply committing to remembering each of our song lyrics. (It's worth $1,000,000 by the way)
Get a Tattoo of Our Logo
This one isn't for the faint of heart - but it IS for the truly dedicated fan. Placement is everything for this one. On the arm? A tame, yet bold declaration of your musical passions. On the forehead? You mean BUSINESS. At that point - we'll make you an honorary part of the band!
Pray to the Square Dance Messiah
Does your prayer routine lack pizzazz? Do you crave a little rhythm with your redemption? Try directing your prayers to the Square Dance Messiah! He'll take away your blues and give you dancing shoes!
Become a Rasta Cyborg
There are many ways to approach this resolution. Perhaps you could invest in smart glasses, or get one of those suitcases that you can ride on, or have a mad scientist give you a robotic tail that you can wag when you're happy. To nail the Rasta component - well - light up!
Check on Your Plumbing
Maybe you know all of your plumbing is fine - but it doesn't hurt to ask for a professional's opinion. We know just the guy - Rick Boadadanco! You'll want to call him all the time. With a torch that’s lit to a copper line - he’ll fix that drip and blow your mind!
Turn Your Brain Off - and Then On Again
Okay, please, do not actually turn your brain off. Instead, try something like meditation, or watching a silly reality TV show. Don't forget to kick it back up with something stimulating like a full listen through of any of our albums!
Settle Down in an Idyllic Mountainside Town
Remember - it ain't just a mountain. It’s the things living on the mountain. It’s a tree growing on the mountain. It’s the rock rolling down the mountain. So as you can imagine - the property value is tremendous there and you're gonna wanna get in as soon as you can.
Start Collecting Coupons
Coupons are power. Coupons are how we take back our strength in a capitalist society. Coupons are what puts a smile on my mother's face. Sometimes in life, a 20 cent coupon is all you need.
Meditate to gain insight on past lives
There's no wrong way to meditate, but if you're trying to relive moments from a past life, there are a few things to keep in mind. Find somewhere comfortable to sit - relax as much as possible and tap into your stream of consciousness... what you see is who you've been! (well, maybe...)
